A soul forever in storm, or: how to grow old - a manual given to me by Alrun the witch — By Eileen Stelter
artwork by Brian McCafferty
Floss, you will spit out blood at first, but that will pass as you keep going.
Invest early. Do your homework and research compound growth. Make a retirement plan aka, a plan for when you’re old/your hag self. Circle back to this when you’ve reached point 5 in the list.
Dentist twice per year. Even if you’re scared. If dentists don’t scare you, lucky you. Seek out what does and do that twice per year.
Rest. By the windowsill. The robin out there, it sees you every day not caring as it collects sticks for its nest. Be present with it. Be reliable. Hold the space.
This one is a guide to lavish spending and not optional: buy a boat. Take said boat out on a full moon, to the mirrored lake. Look at yourself, pulsing with life disrupting the surface. Look at Narcissus staring back at you. He really is a stunning man. Skinny dip; dive in headfirst with saggy skin and the friends you invested in early and the ones that invested in you along the way (see point 2, investment, compound growth, retirement plans)
Repot the plant. No, not that one. The one with the root overgrowth, the hydrophobic soil, the fungus gnat infestation – yet it maintains a dull kind of green. That’s the one you should be worrying about.
Evil can’t be kept out of your home, not even through plants. People who tell you it can and should be, are not the ones to take advice from. Open the door when it comes knocking. Let it be ‘ugly’, it didn’t choose its physical form and neither did you. Sit with it, serve it coffee and cake. Be generous with the lemon drizzle.
Bite. Don’t grit your teeth in pain or anger. Bite down. (Alrun underlines importance of point 1: flossing)
Ritualisation will serve as a reminder of your magic, especially when you find yourself hard to believe. Alrun suggests: skincare, as it’s legal. Take your make up off every night. You’ll dream better that way.
Remember the robin you held space for? If you showed up consistently it will sing to you every morning. Listen.
Eileen Stelter (she/they) is a non-binary writer of fantasy and science fiction. They made their creative debut with a heartfelt apology to spiders and have since stayed loyal to writing love letters to working-class heroes and those who perform invisible labour. Their speculative fiction and poetry was published in various independent publications, including Feign, Moss Puppy and Amsterdam Quarterly. They have won bursaries and awards from the Irish Writers Centre and have been shortlisted for MONO poetry prize 2023.Eileen lives with their three guinea pigs in Berlin and can be found foraging for wild herbs, fermenting or updating their Tumblr.Linktr.ee: https://linktr.ee/eileenstelter.writer